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| From Christmas in Croton through the years |
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| From Christmas in Croton through the years |
Because I can’t really separate the years in my mind, I don’t know if what I remember is a single memory, or maybe a variety of 5 years of memories, but nevertheless, the memories from even 25 years ago are vivid in my mind.
After we survived our eternity car trip and arrived at Gram’s house, it always took a few minutes for my brothers and I to get re-acquainted with my cousins. For me as an oldest girl with only younger brothers, having cousins that were girls and cousins who were older than me was always very exciting. I don’t know if in the early years Jeremy and Kristen were as excited to see me as I was to see them, but with the encouragement of their parents, and their own experience with younger siblings, I was tolerated as a playmate. However, once re-acquainted, it never took long for us to remember how to play. It helped that we all slept on foam mattresses and pull out couches in the basement together, for when the entire floor was covered with padding, pillow fights and wrestling matches quickly broke the shy barriers. Jeremy, being the oldest, always had the advantage and the rest of us found ourselves being flung across the room at regular intervals. No one seemed to mind until someone started crying, but we inevitably always came back for more.
Putting all the cousins (of a reasonable age) together for a slumber party was someone’s brilliant idea to keep us entertained for hours. I remember night after night listening to Jeremy tell story upon stories that he had somehow memorized. I learned more about Tom Sawyer on the raft and painting picket fences from my eldest cousin than I remember from reading the books myself. No amount of parents threatening us to be quiet and go to sleep really worked, and so most nights we were up giggling and listening to each other tell jokes and stories from our memory. It was doubly hard to sleep, also because we were shivering with excitement as to what would happen the following day. And for good reason, because there was never a dull moment at the Croton house!
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| From Christmas in Croton through the years |
Not only did I experience the glamour of the Opera in the city, but we found treasures in Gram and Grandpa’s attic. When someone would decide it was time to pull the white rope that brought down the ladder that set upon the wooden board across the basement stairs, we all flocked. On the other side of the climb up was a place of mystery and treasure all our own. Was there a woman’s bodice with a bear head and antique dresses? I do remember racks of old clothes, dresses and hats delightful for dress up. There were scrapbooks of newspaper clippings and boxes of letters Grandpa had written to his mother during his time in WW2.
There were treasure trunks with lace doilies and other paraphernalia, and each year someone would find something unique that had a story behind it that we all wanted to hear. And some older person would tell us what these family heirlooms meant once upon a time. To me, the attic was my entrance into Narnia. Those old coats and clothes racks might have well been the old wardrobe as far as I was concerned. Maybe I came with the expectation that just maybe I would be sent into the realms of another world by exploring the dusty corners of Gram’s attic.
I think that my cultured suburban family took seriously the responsibility to train their country bumpkin kin in table manners. So, each evening as we gathered to eat at the long wooden table, each child was given a jar of pennies which they would be allowed to keep if their manners remained “acceptable” throughout the evening. For some reason I was consistently penniless at the end of every meal. I’m sure we had dozens of different meals at this table that sat on so-and-so’s antique oriental run that had a putting green sitting on the floor at the end of the table, but for some reason, I only remember eating spaghetti or lasagna, and Grandpa was the one to serve everyone, and he always said a prayer that went something like
“Lord
bless this food to our bodies and our bodies to thy service amen”
I remember this so vividly because the
spoken and sung prayers were always said and sung with gusto. Music during the holidays is a very integral
part of my memories. We always sand the
doxology. In a family unafraid to sing
out loud (led by Grandpa and Marianne), and willing and able to sing in at
least 5 part harmony even as children, the experience of singing grace together
continues to live in my memory and present existence. Though not a Christmas memory, the last time
we sang the doxology together as a family with Grandpa was shortly after he
made the journey from earth to eternity.
It was the day after mother’s day and once again our family had gathered
from across the country and globe to circle around together holding hands, and
singing “Praise God from whom all Blessings flow”. That special moment of celebrating my
grandfather’s life as we was meeting his maker was and is a culmination of the
many years we had together singing praises with no inhibition.
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| From Christmas in Croton through the years |
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| From Christmas in Croton through the years |
Finally, Christmas Day. How was it possible to sleep on Christmas Eve when the visitation of Santa was a sure thing? I remember lying awake shaking with excitement even after I could hear the sound of deep sleeping in the breathing of my brothers and cousins beside me. I strained to hear any sounds of Santa upstairs. At this point in my life, I was sure that he would come. I also remember the basement door opening regularly before we were asleep and Carol’s voice threatening us if we even thought about getting out of bed. I also remember my attempt at catching a glimpse of Santa—it was early morning before light and I had crept upstairs when I believed everyone else was sleeping to “use the bathroom” and made sure that I wandered through the living room to gaze at the lit tree with piles of presents beneath it and all of our stockings that hung on the fireplace bursting with treats. I also remember a large pile of toothbrushes on the table with the gingerbread house by the piano. I was taking my time going to the bathroom the circuitous route and thinking I was alone, paused to take it all in. But in a flash there was Grandpa catching me at my game and ushering me back downstairs to use the bathroom there and go back to bed. I felt triumphant in my mission though, because thought I hadn’t seen Santa, evidences of his appearance were everywhere.
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| From Christmas in Croton through the years |
On Christmas morning after the explosion of
gift unwrapping and the oohs and ahhs had subsided, we settled in to play with
our presents and welcome even more guests.
Both a memory and a present experience is that Gram always made sure
that we had very special gifts each Christmas- whether dolls or jewelry or
plates or silver, whatever we got from Gram and Grandpa, I bet we still all
possess these special gifts! And I wait
with anticipation to re-gift them to my own children someday!
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| From Christmas in Croton through the years |
We had more visitors during our Christmas
holidays than I could count, and with them, a fruitcake which was always very
colorful and which I never wanted to eat.
Our family friends seemed the same as family to me and the Kerr clan and
other great aunts and uncles were always in our midst. Uncle Shel always brought some interesting
invention or handmade gift for us which we could always anticipate.
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| From Christmas in Croton through the years |
Sometime in the week between Christmas and
New Years we gathered with other extended family on the farm or in Croton. I’m sure we all awaited these parties not
only to see our second cousins and all the first or second once removed clan,
but especially for the cookies—Aunt Alice’s meringues in particular Now that I think about it, I bet we all took
note of the house and where the hard Christmas candies were and the meringues
were and made a beeline for those confections as nonchalantly as possible, but
as quickly as possible so that we would satiate our cravings. It’s a good thing these were in abundance,
and that the family recipe has made its rounds, because the craving hasn’t
subsided one bit! (Excuse me, I have to
go make a batch and eat them now!)
It’s fun to recall at these things at 32
years old, memories from 25 years ago!
When I think of Christmas at Gram and Grandpa’s I have a deep impression
of love and celebration and because the joy of family was so great, there is a
sense of holiness and joy about it all.
Those early memories have cemented in me an understanding that the
importance of Christmas is in special moments and celebrating family
relationships. Those memories have
helped me through so many Christmases I have spent around the world far from
friends and family, because during this time, friends and even strangers have
become family. In places void of a
history of Christ, like the tundra of Mongolia or the jungles of Thailand,
Vietnam, and the cold dusty streets of northern China I truly could celebrate
Christ’s birth with a sense of joy and expectation that something wonderful was
happening. And I am aware that now, as
my own children will be gathering memories of Christmas, that it is so
important to make an effort to indeed celebrate and love with great
expectation.
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| From Christmas 2011 |
